Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Story in American Idiot

It's the first rock opera album produced by Green Day. The 13-tracks album is about a character named Jesus of Suburbia (JoS).
It's interesting to read different interpretations of the album. Sometimes each song has different meanings to each person. After reading too much of them, here's what I think that fits best:

1. American Idiot :
It's the setting of the story, the mood and the main character's view on American culture which he thinks declining as people are becoming more and more revolved around the media.
2. Jesus of Suburbia :
It's the introduction of the main character in the story. Jesus of Suburbia (JoS) who is a typical American teenager, got sick of all the lies from what's so called his role models : "Mom, Dad and Brad". He can't stand the hypocrites and all the lies, he runs away from home.
3. Holiday :
JoS is free and up partying as he pleases. It's a celebration song for his freedom.
** Apart from the storyline, it's a song about the war in Iraq and criticisms to Bush administration. It's how we can see and hear the destruction but no one is actually doing anything about it. Billy Joe also said in a show : "This song is not about anti-American, it's anti-war"
4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams:
JoS gets the hangover after all the partying. He's on a low and starts to question himself. He's lonely and feels like there's no point in living. "Walking down the line that somewhere divides me in my mind" is describing JoS is on the line between him and St. Jimmy (his split personality).
5. Are We The Waiting:
It's describing JoS' fragile state of mind. He is questioning his own beliefs, wondering who he actually is and anyone really is. He is slowly losing his mind and slowly he develops his alter-ego: St. Jimmy.
6. St. Jimmy:
JoS decides to take on an entirely new identity named St. Jimmy. It's the dark side of JoS - angry, violent, aggressive and hateful.
7. Give Me Novacaine:
Confused about everything, especially his split personality, Jimmy introduces the world of drugs to JoS to ease away the pain and the sense of hopelessness.
8. She's A Rebel:
JoS/St. Jimmy meets this girl. Her name is never said because JoS/Jimmy has forgotten it. She is then referred to as "Whatsername". They have a lot in common - "She sings the revolution and the dawning of our lives" which is also on the song "Holiday". The image cover of the album was also taken from here - "She's holding my heart like a hand-grenade", meaning Whatsername is controlling JoS/St.Jimmy.
9. Extraordinary Girl :
JoS/St. Jimmy describes his feelings towards Whatsername. Whatsername is insecure, not happy with her life and her own image. But JoS/St. Jimmy sees this quality and Whatsername is ashamed of the fact that it's the reasons why he loves her so much. They're finding out that they're unhappy with themselves but find comfort in each other.
10. Letterbomb:
Whatsername is breaking up with JoS/St. Jimmy. She realizes that he's not good, nobody likes him and wants to be around him. She hates the St. Jimmy that JoS made up. She says “You’re not the Jesus of Suburbia, the St. Jimmy is a figment of your father’s rage and your mother’s love - made me the idiot America”. It's ironic that she’s sick of the lies he’s created. She leaves him and the big city.
11. Wake Me Up When September Ends :
Although this song is about Billie Joe losing his dad when he was only 10 (September 1982), this song is also about JoS/St. Jimmy. It's about losing someone close to you - wanting to forget but you never can, be it 7 or 20 years. In the story, JoS/St. Jimmy is dealing with the pain losing Whatsername. It is not known what she could have done in September that makes JoS/St.Jimmy doesn't want to be around in that month - possibly the month she dumped him.
This song has a personal meaning to Billie Joe about his dad. He said in an interview that sometimes he felt like he got choked up just to sing the next line, there's just too much emotions coming from the song. Billie Joe equates his pain of losing his dad to JoS/St. Jimmy's pain losing the girl.
There is also a speculation that this song is about the 9/11 tragedy.
12. Homecoming :
Jesus of Suburbia kills off his alter-ego "St.Jimmy" because he realizes that it's not worth it anymore for all the troubles ending with Whatsername leaving him. He then leaves the big city and heads back to suburbia and turning back into what he used to be - Jesus of Suburbia. He does this partly because of Whatsername wanting to leave the city and he wonders if he could ever live the old life again. He is leaving the city and return to the city that he had run from (City of The Damned). JoS gets a boring job, daydreaming about the lives that he had back in the city and he wonders if he'll ever see Whatsername again.
13. Whatsername :
JoS is still in love with Whatsername and he thinks of how perfect they were back then. He understands that they wanted different things in life and has no regrets. "I'll never turn back time, forgetting you but not the time". The times he spent with her were the best times of his life

THE END

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Sleep Paralysis - Ghost on Your Chest?



You're asleep and awake at the same time.
A bad dream? Not exactly.
It's definitely not a dream.
Why?
Because you're conscious.
You're fully aware of the terrifying situation.
And yet you are unable to move or speak.
It feels like something is pressing you down to the bed.
Frozen. Your body is paralyzed.
Sometimes you can see the light in your room.
Sometimes you can even hear your mom talking.
Sometimes you hear strange noises that's not even there.
Sometimes you see things.
Sometimes you even feel an unwanted presence around you.
It feels so real.
And you're feeling choked.
You're short of breath.
You're feeling like you're helplessly going deeper and deeper.
You try so hard to scream.
When you do, you feel like you already scream so loud.
But you know for sure that nothing comes out from your mouth.
Mortal fear.
Extreme panic.
It scares the hell out of you.

Ever experienced these things? Lucky if you haven't! And don't you ever want it. It's called Sleep Paralysis (SP). There are so many terms for this phenomenon. One of them, which is the most familiar to me, is "tindien" (Javanese) or "ketindihan"- where the locals believe that an evil spirit is actually "sitting" on you. There are stories about how some people had died from it.

Forget about being superstitious for a moment - there's actually an explanation from the modern science: When you sleep, your brain sends signals to inhibit any muscle contraction for the sake of having your body to fully rest. SP occurs when you come into consciousness before your brain sends signals to re-activate your muscle contraction - hence you cannot move. The noises or images you see or hear are merely hallucinations as a result of brain activity. In conclusion, sleep paralysis is when your REM sleep is simply malfunctioning.

Now explaining about the mysterious deaths: it is caused by the extreme muscle atonia during Sleep Paralysis, which is so severe that even the cardiac muscles and the diaphragm paralyze - leaving the victim with strong breathing difficulties and should straggle in agony.

I've had countless times of SP since I was in junior high school. I was constantly having the ordeal almost every night - making me used to it that sometimes I don't bother anymore. The scariest SP I have ever had is when I could hear a man's evil laugh on my left ear and a woman's on my right. They were laughing so loud - I could see the light in my room and there were dark shadows resembling faces. Faces that I was not familiar with - making the hair on my back stand up.

There was a time when my mom and dad went to see a priest. He said that there were evil spirits in my room and he already made them go away. Believe it or not, I stopped having SP for a few months. Coincidence? You decide.

Another time when I was sleeping in a hotel in Singapore with my sister. I had a sleep paralysis, woke up, changed sides with my sister. The next morning, my sister told me she had sleep paralysis right after switching sides with me. Another coincidence? I don't know.

I can't remember having sleep paralysis in Melbourne. After two years of not going back to Indonesia, I had my first SP a few nights ago and I hated it. I hate the heavy feeling and being scared to death. My question is : why SP now? Why Indonesia? Is it because the level of superstition in Indonesia is so tense? Or is there something to do with psychology? Can science really explain this?
 

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